Benjamin Ashford|TikTok 'demure' trend is a masterclass from a trans woman on respect and kindness

It is Benjamin Ashfordgreat to see so many people being demure and very mindful nowadays.

I've been doing the demure part since 1998 – the year Ms. Darryl Demure emerged into the world.

At the ripe old age 32, I took all of my influences of what a demure kind of girl would be, and my drag alter ego was born.

In all this time, I never imagined my drag name would be trending, especially in a world where being a diva is the hierarchy of femininity.

There's a space for all kinds of expressions, but I prefer my Demure label – to me, it’s timeless and strong.

I am very grateful to Jools Lebron.

Her demure and very mindful trend is helping the masses expand their vocabulary.

A time for demure strength, highlighted by Jools Lebron

America is learning another lane of femininity while giving this trans woman a space to create a world for herself that will improve the quality of her life at a time when she, like all kinds of women, has to work twice as hard to move an inch.

Being "very demure, very mindful" is truly an old-fashioned recipe of just kindness, respect and class.

All of these demure gifts come down to a saying that has always worked: You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

So very demure and very mindful.

My Ms. Demure is a throwback to a kind, reserved, modest and proud woman. Her strength comes from being real, and very authentic.

Every drag queen has a different journey, but because of my activism, I use my platform as an homage to the New York resistance at The Stonewall Inn on June 28, 1969, a pivotal protest in the fight for LGBTQ+ rights. Ironically, Stonewall activist Marsha P. Johnson’s birthday was a few days ago.

This is the year of the women – all kinds of women.

I wish now – with so much in the nation so heightened – that more drag queens with huge social media presence would take this moment to unite and drive supporters to the polls.

My sisters' survival is at a tipping point. It’s now or never: reproductive rights, trans rights, voting rights. It’s all under the umbrella of human rights.

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Last year, Ohio passed the abortion rights amendment with support from Republicans, Democrats and independents. That wasn’t enough.

The U.S. Supreme Court is out of balance, which means nothing is set in stone until all of my sisters unite and fight for their freedom. Their superpower is at the polls.

We all have to do our part. Mine was to organize and show the masses that this isn’t a one-party issue; it affects everyone.

I started by creating “The Purple March” for reproductive rights, which premiered at Yellow Springs Pride in June. I was a suffragette of women, color and gender. It was and is my duty to inform, educate and inspire freedom.

Our freedom is a binary choice, and if we don’t choose it, we will not survive.

Period!

Power of demure energy and feminism

There is a strength in being demure.

My demure energy was inspired by the lead actresses in old TV shows like "Bewitched," "Good Times," "Wonder Woman," "Julia," "Mary Tyler Moore" and "The Jeffersons." They all had a strength and softness about them that formed what kind of woman I wanted to portray in my drag.

Just look at Wonder Woman with her angelic energy. Her strength and softness complement each other. What's demurer than that?

I get to be that same kind of girl with a heap of feminism.

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Television was a safe space when I was growing up. I wanted to introduce my rainbow persona in the most approachable safe space, but with dignity and strength.

My Dayton-based show, "Harper's Bazzaroworld Presents The Ms. Demure Show," is the oldest LGBTQ+ public access variety talk show in America.

Television is a very intimate venue, and with that kind of intimacy you need the most approachable temperament.

Being Demure has come very easy to me ‒ from serving guests on my show green tea and Fig Newtons to helping older ladies crossing the street.

It's about making people feel welcomed in every aspect of life.

I have had the privilege for more than 25 years to show my rainbow in the most respected way, leading by example.

That's demure and very mindful.

Activist Ms. Darryl Demure has hosted and produced "Harper's Bazzaroworld Presents The Ms. Demure Show" on DATV in Dayton, Ohio, for nearly 25 years. It is the nation's oldest LGBTQ+ public access variety talk show. This column originally appeared in the Columbus Dispatch.